[open post] NEW USER: Shang Qinghua

[greatmasterairplane]

Look, this clearly isn't Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shang Qinghua might not remember all the details of what he wrote—that's what his most devoted fans are for, to point out inconsistencies in the comments section so Shang Qinghua can bullshit some mystical explanation, hahaha—but he's sure he didn't write this Western-style mansion. The System, when he tries to question it, is silent. So maybe it's some kind of test?

If so, not fair! Arranging the invasion of the Immortal Alliance Conference was supposed to be his last thing. The original Shang Qinghua died shortly after that, so how much plot relevance could he have?? He was meant to be retired, living life in the lap of luxury (or drudgery in the employ of his king, but whatever). Why doesn't the System just reward him for all his many years of loyal service? Can they have a "being hand-fed melon seeds by a group of big scantily-clad men" event, please???

He skims through the welcome table materials. Okay, so a world between dimensions, people pulled in from disparate worlds and trapped for eternity, sure. Classic stuff. His king is bound to show up at some point and drag Shang Qinghua away by his collar like a tiger scruffing a kitten. Until then, he'll just try to stay out of trouble.

Comments

[greatmasterairplane]

Cucumber-bro seems kind of mad at him, which is normal, but it seems like Shang Qinghua flirting with Claudius really pissed him off. Maybe because Claudius has a realistic understanding of Luo Binghe's flaws. Cucumber-bro hates that.

"Oh yeah, I did meet Lan Wangji. He said you told him about the drama, so I said I read the book, but I guess he didn't know about the book? He's pretty scary." Scary hot.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan flaps a hand. "He's not that scary," he says dismissively, and then, "hang on, you read his book? So you know he's like, a totally intense dom??"

[greatmasterairplane]

"Oh, yeah. He and Wei Wuxian have filthy D/S sex every day. That's, like, famous."

[peaklordshen]

"Every day?" Shen Yuan demands. "That's ridiculous, no one has sex every day."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Well, it's danmei." If Shen Yuan has ever read any danmei, this will be self-explanatory.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan has, of course, never read danmei, but he does have a little sister. "I knew it. Oh my god. At the talent show, Lan Wangji got drunk and basically did a fucking—rope-bondage explainer on Wei Wuxian in front of everyone. I had to explain to Susan from Narnia what yaoi is."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua laughs; that is genuinely hilarious. "I wish I could have seen that. So, okay, Susan from Narnia is here, and some guys from Mo Dao Zu Shi—I can't believe you're one of those people who only saw the drama, by the way—and some guys from Hamlet. Who else? Like, any characters I would know?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan considers that. "I mean, there's an angel and a demon here, I assume from like, the Bible?? A couple French dudes whose source text I don't know, they both died in some uprising. Oh, and there's a girl from something wuxia - she's called Gu Xiang, and she's got a cool whip and knife shoes and a master called Wen Kexing. Does that ring any bells?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"No clue." Shang Qinghua takes a moment to sift through this information with his soup brain. "Whoa. So the Bible is, like, fiction. This is major."

[peaklordshen]

"I guess they could be from, like, some Bible fanfiction, rather than the Bible itself," Shen Yuan admits. "I haven't spent a ton of time with either of them—Crowley's really weird. Cute eyes, though. Anyway, they both kept messing around in my buddy Galahad's brain. And Aziraphale is a total snob about books."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Cute eyes, huh?" Shang Qinghua grins. "How's being gay, dude?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan drinks more wine, making a face. "Not like that. They're like, snake eyes. But--" he shrugs, embarrassed. "It's good. I guess."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Yeah?" Shang Qinghua sits back. He's drunk enough that he's feeling things without thinking, the world fuzzy and disjointed around him. It's easiest to take it in one moment, one impression at a time, and right now his impression is that Cucumber-bro is cute when he's mad. Or maybe he's embarrassed. Either way. He's always been cute, that's what causes the—the thing—the effect he has on men. Not Shang Qinghua, though. "Well—you're speaking to a lifelong expert. If you want any, you know, advice."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan curls up on the other side of the couch. A lifelong expert. "You really always knew? Like, from when you were a kid?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"Oh," Shang Qinghua says, surprised into letting his inside thoughts tumble out. "I thought you'd get mad that I called myself an expert in something. Um, okay." Now he has to actually give advice?? "No, not since when I was a kid, but pretty early in puberty. But I pretty much wasn't out to anyone, in China." He grimaces. It's been thirty-some years since he had to think about being a broke, sweaty, closeted writer in Beijing. No, thank you.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan blinks at the implication. "Are you out to people in Proud Immortal Demon Way?? What, did you have to turn down some demon babes or something?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"No, I wish"—demon babes makes him think of Mobei-jun—"but no one cares there? I mean, I guess people know, because I don't hide it or anything, but it's not a thing. Half the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong are gay." It's just dawning on Shang Qinghua that it's actually possible Cucumber-bro doesn't know this.

[peaklordshen]

"No, they're not," says Shen Yuan, automatically. "Who among the Peak Lords is gay??"

[greatmasterairplane]

"Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan, Qi Qingqi, you, me—that's five—and I have my suspicions about Wei Qingwei."

[peaklordshen]

"Liu Qingge and Yue--" Shen Yuan glares at him. "How do you know??"

[greatmasterairplane]

"How do you NOT know?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan crosses his arms. "You didn't know Binghe was gay but I'm supposed to believe you about Liu Qingge—"

[greatmasterairplane]

"You fought a whole den of succubi with him, was he interested?"

[peaklordshen]

"Yes!" Shen Yuan snaps. "I mean—he did kill a lot of them without a second thought, and the ones at the entrance didn't, uh, entrance him at all. But then after the whole prophecy thing he got all—you know. I had to trip him into a cold pond."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Madam Meiyin gave him a prophecy?"