[open post] NEW USER: Shang Qinghua

[greatmasterairplane]

Look, this clearly isn't Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shang Qinghua might not remember all the details of what he wrote—that's what his most devoted fans are for, to point out inconsistencies in the comments section so Shang Qinghua can bullshit some mystical explanation, hahaha—but he's sure he didn't write this Western-style mansion. The System, when he tries to question it, is silent. So maybe it's some kind of test?

If so, not fair! Arranging the invasion of the Immortal Alliance Conference was supposed to be his last thing. The original Shang Qinghua died shortly after that, so how much plot relevance could he have?? He was meant to be retired, living life in the lap of luxury (or drudgery in the employ of his king, but whatever). Why doesn't the System just reward him for all his many years of loyal service? Can they have a "being hand-fed melon seeds by a group of big scantily-clad men" event, please???

He skims through the welcome table materials. Okay, so a world between dimensions, people pulled in from disparate worlds and trapped for eternity, sure. Classic stuff. His king is bound to show up at some point and drag Shang Qinghua away by his collar like a tiger scruffing a kitten. Until then, he'll just try to stay out of trouble.

Comments

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan has, of course, never read danmei, but he does have a little sister. "I knew it. Oh my god. At the talent show, Lan Wangji got drunk and basically did a fucking—rope-bondage explainer on Wei Wuxian in front of everyone. I had to explain to Susan from Narnia what yaoi is."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua laughs; that is genuinely hilarious. "I wish I could have seen that. So, okay, Susan from Narnia is here, and some guys from Mo Dao Zu Shi—I can't believe you're one of those people who only saw the drama, by the way—and some guys from Hamlet. Who else? Like, any characters I would know?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan considers that. "I mean, there's an angel and a demon here, I assume from like, the Bible?? A couple French dudes whose source text I don't know, they both died in some uprising. Oh, and there's a girl from something wuxia - she's called Gu Xiang, and she's got a cool whip and knife shoes and a master called Wen Kexing. Does that ring any bells?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"No clue." Shang Qinghua takes a moment to sift through this information with his soup brain. "Whoa. So the Bible is, like, fiction. This is major."

[peaklordshen]

"I guess they could be from, like, some Bible fanfiction, rather than the Bible itself," Shen Yuan admits. "I haven't spent a ton of time with either of them—Crowley's really weird. Cute eyes, though. Anyway, they both kept messing around in my buddy Galahad's brain. And Aziraphale is a total snob about books."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Cute eyes, huh?" Shang Qinghua grins. "How's being gay, dude?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan drinks more wine, making a face. "Not like that. They're like, snake eyes. But--" he shrugs, embarrassed. "It's good. I guess."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Yeah?" Shang Qinghua sits back. He's drunk enough that he's feeling things without thinking, the world fuzzy and disjointed around him. It's easiest to take it in one moment, one impression at a time, and right now his impression is that Cucumber-bro is cute when he's mad. Or maybe he's embarrassed. Either way. He's always been cute, that's what causes the—the thing—the effect he has on men. Not Shang Qinghua, though. "Well—you're speaking to a lifelong expert. If you want any, you know, advice."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan curls up on the other side of the couch. A lifelong expert. "You really always knew? Like, from when you were a kid?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"Oh," Shang Qinghua says, surprised into letting his inside thoughts tumble out. "I thought you'd get mad that I called myself an expert in something. Um, okay." Now he has to actually give advice?? "No, not since when I was a kid, but pretty early in puberty. But I pretty much wasn't out to anyone, in China." He grimaces. It's been thirty-some years since he had to think about being a broke, sweaty, closeted writer in Beijing. No, thank you.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan blinks at the implication. "Are you out to people in Proud Immortal Demon Way?? What, did you have to turn down some demon babes or something?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"No, I wish"—demon babes makes him think of Mobei-jun—"but no one cares there? I mean, I guess people know, because I don't hide it or anything, but it's not a thing. Half the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong are gay." It's just dawning on Shang Qinghua that it's actually possible Cucumber-bro doesn't know this.

[peaklordshen]

"No, they're not," says Shen Yuan, automatically. "Who among the Peak Lords is gay??"

[greatmasterairplane]

"Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan, Qi Qingqi, you, me—that's five—and I have my suspicions about Wei Qingwei."

[peaklordshen]

"Liu Qingge and Yue--" Shen Yuan glares at him. "How do you know??"

[greatmasterairplane]

"How do you NOT know?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan crosses his arms. "You didn't know Binghe was gay but I'm supposed to believe you about Liu Qingge—"

[greatmasterairplane]

"You fought a whole den of succubi with him, was he interested?"

[peaklordshen]

"Yes!" Shen Yuan snaps. "I mean—he did kill a lot of them without a second thought, and the ones at the entrance didn't, uh, entrance him at all. But then after the whole prophecy thing he got all—you know. I had to trip him into a cold pond."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Madam Meiyin gave him a prophecy?"

[peaklordshen]

"No, no," says Shen Yuan, flapping a hand. "Madam Meiyin gave me a prophecy, and Liu-shidi got really mad about it for some reason."

[greatmasterairplane]

Even as drunk as Shang Qinghua is, it doesn't seem like a good idea to tell Shen Yuan that Liu Qingge is in love with him. For one thing, it's kind of like spoilers. That's, like, a plot element. Shang Qinghua can't just reveal it in some noncanonical sidequest. So he fully intends to drop that topic, but he's curious. "What was the prophecy?"

[peaklordshen]

"Oh, who knows," says Shen Yuan, and then mutters, "I'm destined to be with someone who I spend a lot of time with, who's really devoted and loyal, or whatever." He's flushed pink.

[greatmasterairplane]

Oh geez. "She said that in front of Liu Qingge?"

[peaklordshen]

"Yeah, for some reason it really seemed to piss him off," says Shen Yuan. He sips his wine, still directly from the bottle. "Do you, um. Do you think it could've been about Bingge? Like--we technically were spending a lot of time together, before--you know. Even if it wasn't the same Binghe. But how could Madam Meiyin have known I would meet a Binghe who doesn't want to kill me, here?" He has a thought. "Are you sure you made her up?"