[open post] NEW USER: Shang Qinghua

[greatmasterairplane]

Look, this clearly isn't Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shang Qinghua might not remember all the details of what he wrote—that's what his most devoted fans are for, to point out inconsistencies in the comments section so Shang Qinghua can bullshit some mystical explanation, hahaha—but he's sure he didn't write this Western-style mansion. The System, when he tries to question it, is silent. So maybe it's some kind of test?

If so, not fair! Arranging the invasion of the Immortal Alliance Conference was supposed to be his last thing. The original Shang Qinghua died shortly after that, so how much plot relevance could he have?? He was meant to be retired, living life in the lap of luxury (or drudgery in the employ of his king, but whatever). Why doesn't the System just reward him for all his many years of loyal service? Can they have a "being hand-fed melon seeds by a group of big scantily-clad men" event, please???

He skims through the welcome table materials. Okay, so a world between dimensions, people pulled in from disparate worlds and trapped for eternity, sure. Classic stuff. His king is bound to show up at some point and drag Shang Qinghua away by his collar like a tiger scruffing a kitten. Until then, he'll just try to stay out of trouble.

Comments

[peaklordshen]

"Only because he hasn't fucking read Proud Immortal Demon Way," snipes Shen Yuan. "You can't read anyone's source material here, the library won't let you. Not even the angel can conjure it. Took me forever to figure out which guy from Hamlet Claudius is, I only remembered because he makes speeches exactly like Scar."

[greatmasterairplane]

"You didn't know who Claudius was from Hamlet?? No offense, bro, but do you read anything but webnovels?"

[peaklordshen]

"I remember other dudes from Hamlet, bro," snaps Shen Yuan. "Like--Hamlet, and Ophelia, and--and Yorick, or whatever, the skull." Hang on, how come he's the one being pulled?? He digs in his heels and pulls Airplane right back, heading toward one of the lounges. "By the way, don't mention Ophelia dies to anyone. Her brother Laertes is here, and he's really nice, and that hasn't happened yet."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Okay, sure—hey, slow down, I'm like—I'm pretty drunk." When he first encountered Claudius, he's almost sure he hadn't had anything to drink yet, but now he's sure he had baijiu with Crowley and Tsingtao with Aleksander before he ran into Claudius at all. Huh. Weird.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan sighs. "Of course you are," he says, but he does slow down, and he changes his grip on Airplane from 'towing a stubborn dog' to 'helping a drunk friend get the rest of the way home', one hand supportively on his back. "I guess I can't blame you. Weird day."

[greatmasterairplane]

Ugh, Shen Yuan is so fucking nice, even when he's being a dick. Shang Qinghua makes a face he probably wouldn't make if he were sober—he really prefers the guy who poured vitriol into his comments section for four years straight. Wow, four years—he hasn't known Cucumber-bro for that long in PIDW, but they really are old friends, huh? Thinking of it that way is making him dizzy, but maybe it's the three different kinds of alcohol. "Tell me about it. Is there even anything to do here besides get drunk with hot men and wind up in their beds?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan deposits him on the couch. This might be the lounge where he got high, but it also might not be--honestly, who knows. He checks the corners for SecUnit's drones, discovers one, gives it a little wave, and subsequently decides it is definitely a different lounge for his own peace of mind. "Last month there was a zombie attack," he offers.

[greatmasterairplane]

"Oh, great. So what was so urgent to discuss that you had to pull me away from a handsome man who was complimenting my artist's mind, huh? Did Binghe look sad for a second?"

[peaklordshen]

The thing is, Shen Yuan doesn't actually have anything urgent to discuss. Or, rather, he has everything urgent to discuss—I've been gay for like two weeks and I already have a boyfriend AND another handsome brooding guy who wants to kiss??? I accidentally triggered a nightmare trap and now I can't stop thinking about my sister finding my dead body??? I think I might kind of be a stoner now???—but none of it is urgent the way Airplane means, not plot urgent, and none of it really justifies pulling Airplane away from Claudius. He'd just—he didn't—

"There's more people than usual," he says finally. "Arriving, today. It's always one at a time, with like, weeks in between, but today you're here, and I ran into King Arthur, and Jiang Cheng from Chen Qing Ling, and a mean old lady from the Darkling's world."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua squints at him. "Okay. Do you want something to drink? It feels weird if you're sober."

[peaklordshen]

"I should've just gotten high with Jiang Cheng," Shen Yuan mutters. But he does duck back into the bar long enough to grab a bottle of whatever--some western wine--and takes a pointed drink.

[greatmasterairplane]

Cucumber-bro seems kind of mad at him, which is normal, but it seems like Shang Qinghua flirting with Claudius really pissed him off. Maybe because Claudius has a realistic understanding of Luo Binghe's flaws. Cucumber-bro hates that.

"Oh yeah, I did meet Lan Wangji. He said you told him about the drama, so I said I read the book, but I guess he didn't know about the book? He's pretty scary." Scary hot.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan flaps a hand. "He's not that scary," he says dismissively, and then, "hang on, you read his book? So you know he's like, a totally intense dom??"

[greatmasterairplane]

"Oh, yeah. He and Wei Wuxian have filthy D/S sex every day. That's, like, famous."

[peaklordshen]

"Every day?" Shen Yuan demands. "That's ridiculous, no one has sex every day."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Well, it's danmei." If Shen Yuan has ever read any danmei, this will be self-explanatory.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan has, of course, never read danmei, but he does have a little sister. "I knew it. Oh my god. At the talent show, Lan Wangji got drunk and basically did a fucking—rope-bondage explainer on Wei Wuxian in front of everyone. I had to explain to Susan from Narnia what yaoi is."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua laughs; that is genuinely hilarious. "I wish I could have seen that. So, okay, Susan from Narnia is here, and some guys from Mo Dao Zu Shi—I can't believe you're one of those people who only saw the drama, by the way—and some guys from Hamlet. Who else? Like, any characters I would know?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan considers that. "I mean, there's an angel and a demon here, I assume from like, the Bible?? A couple French dudes whose source text I don't know, they both died in some uprising. Oh, and there's a girl from something wuxia - she's called Gu Xiang, and she's got a cool whip and knife shoes and a master called Wen Kexing. Does that ring any bells?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"No clue." Shang Qinghua takes a moment to sift through this information with his soup brain. "Whoa. So the Bible is, like, fiction. This is major."

[peaklordshen]

"I guess they could be from, like, some Bible fanfiction, rather than the Bible itself," Shen Yuan admits. "I haven't spent a ton of time with either of them—Crowley's really weird. Cute eyes, though. Anyway, they both kept messing around in my buddy Galahad's brain. And Aziraphale is a total snob about books."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Cute eyes, huh?" Shang Qinghua grins. "How's being gay, dude?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan drinks more wine, making a face. "Not like that. They're like, snake eyes. But--" he shrugs, embarrassed. "It's good. I guess."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Yeah?" Shang Qinghua sits back. He's drunk enough that he's feeling things without thinking, the world fuzzy and disjointed around him. It's easiest to take it in one moment, one impression at a time, and right now his impression is that Cucumber-bro is cute when he's mad. Or maybe he's embarrassed. Either way. He's always been cute, that's what causes the—the thing—the effect he has on men. Not Shang Qinghua, though. "Well—you're speaking to a lifelong expert. If you want any, you know, advice."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan curls up on the other side of the couch. A lifelong expert. "You really always knew? Like, from when you were a kid?"