[open post] NEW USER: Shang Qinghua

[greatmasterairplane]

Look, this clearly isn't Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shang Qinghua might not remember all the details of what he wrote—that's what his most devoted fans are for, to point out inconsistencies in the comments section so Shang Qinghua can bullshit some mystical explanation, hahaha—but he's sure he didn't write this Western-style mansion. The System, when he tries to question it, is silent. So maybe it's some kind of test?

If so, not fair! Arranging the invasion of the Immortal Alliance Conference was supposed to be his last thing. The original Shang Qinghua died shortly after that, so how much plot relevance could he have?? He was meant to be retired, living life in the lap of luxury (or drudgery in the employ of his king, but whatever). Why doesn't the System just reward him for all his many years of loyal service? Can they have a "being hand-fed melon seeds by a group of big scantily-clad men" event, please???

He skims through the welcome table materials. Okay, so a world between dimensions, people pulled in from disparate worlds and trapped for eternity, sure. Classic stuff. His king is bound to show up at some point and drag Shang Qinghua away by his collar like a tiger scruffing a kitten. Until then, he'll just try to stay out of trouble.

Comments

[wickedwit]

"Isn't it?" It continues to feel cathartic, drinking and chatting about the frustrating yet complicated aspects of his association with Luo Binghe, with someone other than Luo Binghe under a truth spell. Why couldn't Claudius met a man like Shang Qinghua sooner? A man with the same level of insight Shen Yuan has from traveling into a world of fiction, but who crucially isn't Shen Yuan.

"You see, there's the other difficulty in co-existing with someone like Luo Binghe. If I think about him too long, I feel sad for him. During our little tryst, I entertained the thought he was lonely underneath all that continental extravagance, reaching for a form of connection he hadn't before. I had a very modest estimate of how many times he'd use the same romantic lines on women before. My estimate was not that he'd married hundreds of wives," Claudius says, rolling his eyes, "but now I know he's from an erotic work of fiction, so why not? It likely makes for more thrilling read. And in that work, he likely never considered how he'd feel if a man used the same romantic lines on him, with the same performative praises and touches. I can sympathize, even feel sorry for him. Except that he also secretly slipped me blood parasites to torture me with later." It's a difficult thing to get over when evaluating a person. Claudius sighs, then smiling wryly, adds, "That said ... if you'd like the personal demonstration of performative praises and touches, I can provide. "

[greatmasterairplane]

"Well," Shang Qinghua says. He traces the rim of his sake cup with his finger, trying to pull words together from the soup that his brain is right now. "I would. I find you handsome and charming, and in the demon realm you usually only get one or the other. But, well—I meant to find a more satisfying or dramatic moment to say it, but now that we've talked about Luo Binghe so much, I feel like I have to say it or it's like I'm catfishing you—you wouldn't know about that—I'll have to explain catfishing later." Shakespeare would have loved catfishing. "Anyway, it's my book. I wrote it and then was forced to live it, like some kind of—ironic punishment—from Dante, or Greek mythology. So it's really my fault about the blood parasites."

[wickedwit]

Three little cups of sake in and Claudius is ready to admit, "I looked at the blood parasites under a microscope in order to study their mechanisms. They were fascinating. So let me see if I have this right -- that's all your invention? You created that entire world and Luo Binghe's whole suite of personal tragedies and erotic conquests?" It's perhaps the most unusual and unexpected turn a flirtation with a stranger could take. Previously, that honor belonged to to the aforementioned moment when Claudius realized Luo Binghe had given him blood parasites. This is more like realizing the man you're flirting with is a minor god who created the possibility of blood parasites. "Well," he says with a smile, "I certainly do admire a man with a creative mind. It speaks well to your imagination."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua grins, delightfully surprised. "Wow, thanks. Shen Yuan usually just yells at me for not making nicer things happen to Binghe."

[wickedwit]

Claudius laughs because of course Shen Yuan does, but he sets that aside, leans over the bar, and draws hand Shang Qinghua's into his own with a sliding, teasing touch. "Let me praise thee," he says, and he kisses that hand. "The most extravagant praises, of course, are always for looks. I know not how thou didst look before thou hadst this form -- but I can say thou wear'st it well, as thou wear'st thy dahlia, and both are lovelier for adorning thee. And what thou art, within that charming form, is an artist's mind. The mind of an artist is always more beautiful than the thing it creates, more full of possibility. Thou canst write stories of erotic longing, and thou canst speak in stirring ideas about the illusions of power, about dreams unfulfilled. Why would I ask thee to tell me nicer stories, for the sake of thy character? Speak to me more of longing and desire, but let it be thy desires."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua is not the blushing type, but he is speechless by the end of this. He wants to tell Claudius he doesn't have to lay it on quite so thick—surely it's clear Shang Qinghua is a done deal—but also, why shouldn't he? Why shouldn't Shang Qinghua get showered in compliments for once?? He deserves it, right? He's had the short end of the stick at every turn, and unlike Cucumber-bro he hasn't even gotten a sexy demon boyfriend out of it! Sure, Claudius seems to think Proud Immortal Demon Way is a work of literary significance, rather than a cheap and lazy cash grab—but it could have been, if Shang Qinghua had the time and money to sit around perfecting his artistic vision. If, in fact, he was allowed to take his time being flattered and seduced by hot men from the world of real literature. If he'd had that life, maybe PIDW would be the work Claudius is describing. And that means Shang Qinghua absolutely deserves the credit he's getting.

He leans closer, letting Claudius keep hold of his hand. "This artist's mind can think of many possibilities." His lips part.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan skids around the corner. "There you are," he snaps. "Where the hell did you go, we still have so much to...talk..." he trails off, taking in the cozy way Airplane is snuggled up, holding hands, with—of all fucking people—!!!

[wickedwit]

“Shen Yuan,” Claudius says, smoothly and cheerfully. “It’s a pleasure to see you, of course — but why didn’t you introduce me to your charming friend?”

[greatmasterairplane]

"Cucumber-bro," Shang Qinghua says with a dismissive little wave of his hand, "I'm busy right now, let's talk later."

[peaklordshen]

"You're busy," Shen Yuan repeats in disbelief. "You're—" how dare he. Busy?? As if he knows anything about this place, or the people here, or how to not make a fucking ass out of himself in front of everyone. Just because he happens to have a reasonably handsome face and absolutely no moral backbone he thinks he can slink around Shen Yuan's carefully balanced and complex acquaintanceship with Claudius and into his bed and potentially tell him—who the fuck knows what, just when they were maybe on okay terms again?? Busy. Yeah, we'll fucking see. Two can play at that game.

He crosses his arms, turning to Claudius. "Has my charming friend told you he's the reason Binghe tortured you?" he demands. "That he's the one who so thoroughly beat the ability to assume good faith out of a bright and shining youth, that it's his Machiavellian fucking cash grab porn that Luo Binghe had just so narrowly escaped when you had your fateful tryst?"

[wickedwit]

"Oh, Shen Yuan, you will blame everyone but Luo Binghe, won’t you? I know, I know, you're his number one defender.” Claudius casts a sly glance and smile in Shang Qinghua's direction. “Know’st thou this: Shen Yuan denied he loved Luo Binghe, when I first espied it in him. Now they make a blissful couple, but we've a conundrum. If thou art the author of all Luo Binghe’s actions … if ‘twas thee, not he, that must be blamed for his torture of me … art thou not the author of every happiness he gives Shen Yuan? For if Luo Binghe's willful cruelties are thine, so too must be that loving heart that Shen Yuan so esteems. Should he not thank thee better for it? Or does he only blame thee for Luo Binghe's faults, so that he can stay blind to them?”

[greatmasterairplane]

Claudius is sooooo smart and handsome. Shang Qinghua rubs his collar between thumb and forefinger, too drunk to care that he is courting murder-by-cucumber. "He never thanks me."

[peaklordshen]

"You are so full of shit," snaps Shen Yuan, directing his vitriol toward Airplane because a) habit, b) he's being SO smarmy right now, and c) Claudius kind of has a point. "I paid for every extra chapter you posted! I told you all the time that Binghe was the best protagonist out of every novel on zhongdian! Just because I never, fucking, sucked your dick about it--"

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua does not roll his eyes, because he's not trying to provoke Shen Yuan; Shen Yuan is just very easily provoked. "Well, if you're not going to, then kindly don't stand in the way of someone who might."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan does roll his eyes. ¹ "Oh, right, because you're totally hard up, it's been like, five whole minutes since you slept with Sagramore. Come on, dude, can't you think about literally anything else?? We have shit to discuss!"

¹ Because he is in fact very easy to provoke.

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua sighs, but not audibly, just a little huff of breath. He extracts his hand from Claudius' so he can pat the back of it. If he's trapped here forever, like everyone has been telling him, they'll have time to return to this, and it's best not to hold out for Cucumber-bro to let go of something. He did read all twenty million words of a book he supposedly hated. "It's been an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance, Prince. I'm sure we'll have much more to say to each other at a later time." He returns the knowing smile Claudius gave him earlier, as if to say, You understand how he is.

[wickedwit]

Claudius was, to be fair, going to leave some things to subtext. He wasn't going to say outright that Shen Yuan wanted to suck anyone's cock, or that Shen Yuan owes Shang Qinghua for any of Luo Binghe's skills in bed, since Shang Qinghua wrote every word of the erotic novel Shen Yuan so enjoys. He laughs. "That was very a gentlemanly farewell," he says, smilingly. Then he leans up and gives Shang Qinghua a heated kiss on the lips, letting it linger for a while. "I'm sorry I made the first admirer of your work jealous," he teases. "He must want to take up all of your time."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan feels like the top of his head might come clean off. Jealous--jealous?? Absolutely ridiculous. Sure, Airplane's cute, but Shen Yuan is dating Luo Binghe. As if anyone could compete!!! Please. Like--sure, now that he knows Airplane's gay, and he's gay, and--if they were both single, and there weren't--that's not the fucking point. Even if he actively wanted to sleep with Airplane, which he does not, he wouldn't be jealous of him and Claudius. Airplane can do whatever the fuck he wants with his time and his--his body. Just--later, once Shen Yuan has had a chance to actually talk to him more, and feel out the Aornis situation, and hear how everyone is back home, and--and decide how he feels about Airplane being here, knowing him the way Sagramore and Galahad and Magnus know him, rather than the way only Airplane used to know him, has kind of always known him.

He crosses his arms and averts his gaze from their kiss, sullen. "Come on, then."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua is a little breathless—Claudius is an excellent kisser—but he manages to say, "That was a gentlemanly farewell." He slips away from the bar apologetically and drags Shen Yuan into the hallway, out of earshot.

"Dude, what is so important that you had to cockblock me? I was having a nice time! He had really interesting things to say about Proud Immortal Demon Way!"

[peaklordshen]

"Only because he hasn't fucking read Proud Immortal Demon Way," snipes Shen Yuan. "You can't read anyone's source material here, the library won't let you. Not even the angel can conjure it. Took me forever to figure out which guy from Hamlet Claudius is, I only remembered because he makes speeches exactly like Scar."

[greatmasterairplane]

"You didn't know who Claudius was from Hamlet?? No offense, bro, but do you read anything but webnovels?"

[peaklordshen]

"I remember other dudes from Hamlet, bro," snaps Shen Yuan. "Like--Hamlet, and Ophelia, and--and Yorick, or whatever, the skull." Hang on, how come he's the one being pulled?? He digs in his heels and pulls Airplane right back, heading toward one of the lounges. "By the way, don't mention Ophelia dies to anyone. Her brother Laertes is here, and he's really nice, and that hasn't happened yet."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Okay, sure—hey, slow down, I'm like—I'm pretty drunk." When he first encountered Claudius, he's almost sure he hadn't had anything to drink yet, but now he's sure he had baijiu with Crowley and Tsingtao with Aleksander before he ran into Claudius at all. Huh. Weird.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan sighs. "Of course you are," he says, but he does slow down, and he changes his grip on Airplane from 'towing a stubborn dog' to 'helping a drunk friend get the rest of the way home', one hand supportively on his back. "I guess I can't blame you. Weird day."

[greatmasterairplane]

Ugh, Shen Yuan is so fucking nice, even when he's being a dick. Shang Qinghua makes a face he probably wouldn't make if he were sober—he really prefers the guy who poured vitriol into his comments section for four years straight. Wow, four years—he hasn't known Cucumber-bro for that long in PIDW, but they really are old friends, huh? Thinking of it that way is making him dizzy, but maybe it's the three different kinds of alcohol. "Tell me about it. Is there even anything to do here besides get drunk with hot men and wind up in their beds?"