[open post] NEW USER: Shang Qinghua

[greatmasterairplane]

Look, this clearly isn't Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shang Qinghua might not remember all the details of what he wrote—that's what his most devoted fans are for, to point out inconsistencies in the comments section so Shang Qinghua can bullshit some mystical explanation, hahaha—but he's sure he didn't write this Western-style mansion. The System, when he tries to question it, is silent. So maybe it's some kind of test?

If so, not fair! Arranging the invasion of the Immortal Alliance Conference was supposed to be his last thing. The original Shang Qinghua died shortly after that, so how much plot relevance could he have?? He was meant to be retired, living life in the lap of luxury (or drudgery in the employ of his king, but whatever). Why doesn't the System just reward him for all his many years of loyal service? Can they have a "being hand-fed melon seeds by a group of big scantily-clad men" event, please???

He skims through the welcome table materials. Okay, so a world between dimensions, people pulled in from disparate worlds and trapped for eternity, sure. Classic stuff. His king is bound to show up at some point and drag Shang Qinghua away by his collar like a tiger scruffing a kitten. Until then, he'll just try to stay out of trouble.

Comments

[wickedwit]

"Oh, Shen Yuan, you will blame everyone but Luo Binghe, won’t you? I know, I know, you're his number one defender.” Claudius casts a sly glance and smile in Shang Qinghua's direction. “Know’st thou this: Shen Yuan denied he loved Luo Binghe, when I first espied it in him. Now they make a blissful couple, but we've a conundrum. If thou art the author of all Luo Binghe’s actions … if ‘twas thee, not he, that must be blamed for his torture of me … art thou not the author of every happiness he gives Shen Yuan? For if Luo Binghe's willful cruelties are thine, so too must be that loving heart that Shen Yuan so esteems. Should he not thank thee better for it? Or does he only blame thee for Luo Binghe's faults, so that he can stay blind to them?”

[greatmasterairplane]

Claudius is sooooo smart and handsome. Shang Qinghua rubs his collar between thumb and forefinger, too drunk to care that he is courting murder-by-cucumber. "He never thanks me."

[peaklordshen]

"You are so full of shit," snaps Shen Yuan, directing his vitriol toward Airplane because a) habit, b) he's being SO smarmy right now, and c) Claudius kind of has a point. "I paid for every extra chapter you posted! I told you all the time that Binghe was the best protagonist out of every novel on zhongdian! Just because I never, fucking, sucked your dick about it--"

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua does not roll his eyes, because he's not trying to provoke Shen Yuan; Shen Yuan is just very easily provoked. "Well, if you're not going to, then kindly don't stand in the way of someone who might."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan does roll his eyes. ¹ "Oh, right, because you're totally hard up, it's been like, five whole minutes since you slept with Sagramore. Come on, dude, can't you think about literally anything else?? We have shit to discuss!"

¹ Because he is in fact very easy to provoke.

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua sighs, but not audibly, just a little huff of breath. He extracts his hand from Claudius' so he can pat the back of it. If he's trapped here forever, like everyone has been telling him, they'll have time to return to this, and it's best not to hold out for Cucumber-bro to let go of something. He did read all twenty million words of a book he supposedly hated. "It's been an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance, Prince. I'm sure we'll have much more to say to each other at a later time." He returns the knowing smile Claudius gave him earlier, as if to say, You understand how he is.

[wickedwit]

Claudius was, to be fair, going to leave some things to subtext. He wasn't going to say outright that Shen Yuan wanted to suck anyone's cock, or that Shen Yuan owes Shang Qinghua for any of Luo Binghe's skills in bed, since Shang Qinghua wrote every word of the erotic novel Shen Yuan so enjoys. He laughs. "That was very a gentlemanly farewell," he says, smilingly. Then he leans up and gives Shang Qinghua a heated kiss on the lips, letting it linger for a while. "I'm sorry I made the first admirer of your work jealous," he teases. "He must want to take up all of your time."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan feels like the top of his head might come clean off. Jealous--jealous?? Absolutely ridiculous. Sure, Airplane's cute, but Shen Yuan is dating Luo Binghe. As if anyone could compete!!! Please. Like--sure, now that he knows Airplane's gay, and he's gay, and--if they were both single, and there weren't--that's not the fucking point. Even if he actively wanted to sleep with Airplane, which he does not, he wouldn't be jealous of him and Claudius. Airplane can do whatever the fuck he wants with his time and his--his body. Just--later, once Shen Yuan has had a chance to actually talk to him more, and feel out the Aornis situation, and hear how everyone is back home, and--and decide how he feels about Airplane being here, knowing him the way Sagramore and Galahad and Magnus know him, rather than the way only Airplane used to know him, has kind of always known him.

He crosses his arms and averts his gaze from their kiss, sullen. "Come on, then."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua is a little breathless—Claudius is an excellent kisser—but he manages to say, "That was a gentlemanly farewell." He slips away from the bar apologetically and drags Shen Yuan into the hallway, out of earshot.

"Dude, what is so important that you had to cockblock me? I was having a nice time! He had really interesting things to say about Proud Immortal Demon Way!"

[peaklordshen]

"Only because he hasn't fucking read Proud Immortal Demon Way," snipes Shen Yuan. "You can't read anyone's source material here, the library won't let you. Not even the angel can conjure it. Took me forever to figure out which guy from Hamlet Claudius is, I only remembered because he makes speeches exactly like Scar."

[greatmasterairplane]

"You didn't know who Claudius was from Hamlet?? No offense, bro, but do you read anything but webnovels?"

[peaklordshen]

"I remember other dudes from Hamlet, bro," snaps Shen Yuan. "Like--Hamlet, and Ophelia, and--and Yorick, or whatever, the skull." Hang on, how come he's the one being pulled?? He digs in his heels and pulls Airplane right back, heading toward one of the lounges. "By the way, don't mention Ophelia dies to anyone. Her brother Laertes is here, and he's really nice, and that hasn't happened yet."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Okay, sure—hey, slow down, I'm like—I'm pretty drunk." When he first encountered Claudius, he's almost sure he hadn't had anything to drink yet, but now he's sure he had baijiu with Crowley and Tsingtao with Aleksander before he ran into Claudius at all. Huh. Weird.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan sighs. "Of course you are," he says, but he does slow down, and he changes his grip on Airplane from 'towing a stubborn dog' to 'helping a drunk friend get the rest of the way home', one hand supportively on his back. "I guess I can't blame you. Weird day."

[greatmasterairplane]

Ugh, Shen Yuan is so fucking nice, even when he's being a dick. Shang Qinghua makes a face he probably wouldn't make if he were sober—he really prefers the guy who poured vitriol into his comments section for four years straight. Wow, four years—he hasn't known Cucumber-bro for that long in PIDW, but they really are old friends, huh? Thinking of it that way is making him dizzy, but maybe it's the three different kinds of alcohol. "Tell me about it. Is there even anything to do here besides get drunk with hot men and wind up in their beds?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan deposits him on the couch. This might be the lounge where he got high, but it also might not be--honestly, who knows. He checks the corners for SecUnit's drones, discovers one, gives it a little wave, and subsequently decides it is definitely a different lounge for his own peace of mind. "Last month there was a zombie attack," he offers.

[greatmasterairplane]

"Oh, great. So what was so urgent to discuss that you had to pull me away from a handsome man who was complimenting my artist's mind, huh? Did Binghe look sad for a second?"

[peaklordshen]

The thing is, Shen Yuan doesn't actually have anything urgent to discuss. Or, rather, he has everything urgent to discuss—I've been gay for like two weeks and I already have a boyfriend AND another handsome brooding guy who wants to kiss??? I accidentally triggered a nightmare trap and now I can't stop thinking about my sister finding my dead body??? I think I might kind of be a stoner now???—but none of it is urgent the way Airplane means, not plot urgent, and none of it really justifies pulling Airplane away from Claudius. He'd just—he didn't—

"There's more people than usual," he says finally. "Arriving, today. It's always one at a time, with like, weeks in between, but today you're here, and I ran into King Arthur, and Jiang Cheng from Chen Qing Ling, and a mean old lady from the Darkling's world."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua squints at him. "Okay. Do you want something to drink? It feels weird if you're sober."

[peaklordshen]

"I should've just gotten high with Jiang Cheng," Shen Yuan mutters. But he does duck back into the bar long enough to grab a bottle of whatever--some western wine--and takes a pointed drink.

[greatmasterairplane]

Cucumber-bro seems kind of mad at him, which is normal, but it seems like Shang Qinghua flirting with Claudius really pissed him off. Maybe because Claudius has a realistic understanding of Luo Binghe's flaws. Cucumber-bro hates that.

"Oh yeah, I did meet Lan Wangji. He said you told him about the drama, so I said I read the book, but I guess he didn't know about the book? He's pretty scary." Scary hot.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan flaps a hand. "He's not that scary," he says dismissively, and then, "hang on, you read his book? So you know he's like, a totally intense dom??"

[greatmasterairplane]

"Oh, yeah. He and Wei Wuxian have filthy D/S sex every day. That's, like, famous."

[peaklordshen]

"Every day?" Shen Yuan demands. "That's ridiculous, no one has sex every day."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Well, it's danmei." If Shen Yuan has ever read any danmei, this will be self-explanatory.