[open post] NEW USER: Shang Qinghua

[greatmasterairplane]

Look, this clearly isn't Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shang Qinghua might not remember all the details of what he wrote—that's what his most devoted fans are for, to point out inconsistencies in the comments section so Shang Qinghua can bullshit some mystical explanation, hahaha—but he's sure he didn't write this Western-style mansion. The System, when he tries to question it, is silent. So maybe it's some kind of test?

If so, not fair! Arranging the invasion of the Immortal Alliance Conference was supposed to be his last thing. The original Shang Qinghua died shortly after that, so how much plot relevance could he have?? He was meant to be retired, living life in the lap of luxury (or drudgery in the employ of his king, but whatever). Why doesn't the System just reward him for all his many years of loyal service? Can they have a "being hand-fed melon seeds by a group of big scantily-clad men" event, please???

He skims through the welcome table materials. Okay, so a world between dimensions, people pulled in from disparate worlds and trapped for eternity, sure. Classic stuff. His king is bound to show up at some point and drag Shang Qinghua away by his collar like a tiger scruffing a kitten. Until then, he'll just try to stay out of trouble.

Comments

[peaklordshen]

"He's a genius," says Shen Yuan. "He's---" his brain spins like a fucking roulette wheel trying to land on something to say about Luo Binghe that doesn't give the whole game away--he's not sure he wants Airplane to know he's banging his glorious huge-dicked son, at least not yet. If Airplane is here now he's bound to find out eventually. But he can maybe--delay the inevitable. He's had other stuff he wanted to tell Airplane anyway. "Last week he performed a scene from Fight Club in a talent show."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua was prepared for yet another long, rambling installment of the Cucumber-bro Loves Luo Binghe Show, but this pulls him up short. "Sorry? What do you mean, he performed a scene from Fight Club? Is this a metaphor?"

[peaklordshen]

"Nope," Shen Yuan says, with satisfaction. "I mean Luo Bingge, your terrifying bloodthirsty stallion, got up on stage in front of me and all of my friends, and did a scene from a Fight Club. Including stage combat. While wearing a leather jacket." This last part was very important, and he might get a little more fervent and wild-eyed about it than the rest.

[greatmasterairplane]

It's hard to believe this happened in reality, and not in Cucumber-bro's wet dreams, but sure. "Wait, you had a talent show? You still haven't told me anything about this place, you just immediately started accusing me of homophobia—how many people are here? Are they all transmigrators? I've only met you and the hot British guy with the glasses."

[peaklordshen]

Hot British guy with--"Sagramore?" Shen Yuan demands. "What did you tell him? Did you guys talk about me? If you were a bitch to him I'll fucking kill you."

[greatmasterairplane]

"Wow, have some faith! I was not a bitch to him." Usually, Shang Qinghua would not volunteer any further information, but he's still annoyed about Shen Qingqiu accusing him of pretending to be gay. "We talked a little, but mostly, you know, with our bodies." He waggles his eyebrows.

[peaklordshen]

"You--you had sex with him??" Shen Yuan demands. That's--but--forget the fact that he only found out Airplane was gay like, five minutes ago, Sagramore is his bro, and Airplane is, is Airplane, and that's--that's, like, definitely against some kind of code!!

Sagramore deserves better, first of all. Like, he already has better, with Laertes, etc, but that doesn't mean he--not that Airplane isn't handsome, because obviously he is, but he's also exactly the kind of guy who would tread all over Sagramore's sweet heart and hang him out to dry, which Shen Yuan knows in his soul even though, again, he only found out Airplane was gay five minutes ago. "You--you--" he starts, and then can't figure out how to end that sentence. "You'd better at least have appreciated it," he finishes, lamely.

[greatmasterairplane]

"Of course I appreciated it! He's very good-looking." Not as good-looking as Mobei-jun, which would be a funny thing to say if he wanted to watch his bro die of an aneurysm, judging by how defensive he's getting. "He did say you were close. He was definitely suspicious of me. Like as if I was lying when I said we were friends." Whether or not Shang Qinghua thinks they're friends depends on how useful it is to be friends with Cucumber-bro under the circumstances.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan frowns, crossing his arms. "Were you?"

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua gives him a look. "Bro. That's cold."

[peaklordshen]

"Sorry," mutters Shen Yuan, only half meaning it. "I just--I have been making friends, here, like, as me? Not as Shen Qingqiu? And--you don't even know my name. I don't even know your name."

[greatmasterairplane]

So, what he means is, closer friends than Shang Qinghua. Well, alright. They're really more like frenemies, or—convenient collaborators? Allies in the fight to not get murdered by their respective crushes? It's not like Shang Qinghua thought they were real friends, but it still irritates him to hear Shen Qingqiu draw a clear line like that. "Fine. What's your name, then?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan takes a breath and then blows it out, weirdly nervous. He sticks out a hand. "Hi," he says, and, for the first time since Airplane got here smiles, at him. "I'm Shen Yuan."

[greatmasterairplane]

That's—whoa. Cucumber-bro doesn't usually smile at him so earnestly. Certainly the original Shen Qingqiu never made that face either. Shang Qinghua made him hot on purpose—who doesn't love a sexy villain?—but Cucumber-bro's sincere overtrue of friendship makes Shen Qingqiu's severe face look straight-up moe.

"Nice to meet you," he says awkwardly, shaking the proffered hand. He doesn't offer a name in return. It's all well and good if Cucumber-bro—Shen Yuan—is feeling nostalgic about the real world, but he's only been in PIDW for a few years, and by all accounts his previous life was pretty damn good. Shang Qinghua has been Shang Qinghua for three decades, and he has no desire to look back.

[peaklordshen]

When is clear Airplane is not going to return the favor, Shen Yuan's smile vanishes. "You're such a dick, dude."

[greatmasterairplane]

Ah geez. Okay. He actually does feel bad. He forgets sometimes that Shen Yuan is so young. He's just—very earnest, and Shang Qinghua knows that vicious keyboard warrior exterior houses a surprisingly tender heart. It explains why he can love someone like Luo Binghe so much. It explains why he apparently wants to get closer with Shang Qinghua, even though Shang Qinghua is even less likable, and lacks Luo Binghe's abs.

"Um. Sorry," he says. "I didn't mean that like—I just didn't really enjoy my first life, so I'd rather not go by that name. Honestly, 'Airplane' is the identity I always preferred. But, uh, thanks for telling me."

[peaklordshen]

"Oh," says Shen Yuan, softening. "That--yeah, okay, of course." He punches Airplane lightly in the shoulder. "It would be weird to call you anything but Airplane anyway, probably. And you like--" he's a little embarrassed, now, "--don't have to call me Shen Yuan, except around, like, other people here. It just felt wrong for you not to know it."

[greatmasterairplane]

Whew! It felt way too weird for Cucumber-bro to be actually pissed at him, instead of his usual harmless yelling. "You're being nice to me," he says with a grin. "Is this place softening you, or what? Is it because Binghe's here?"

[peaklordshen]

"Shut the fuck up," says Shen Yuan, automatically. "But--um. Yeah, probably, at least a little. He, uh." He swallows. "He really likes me?"

[greatmasterairplane]

"If he's gay, I'm not surprised," Shang Qinghua says, wiggling his eyebrows again. "You're his type! Pretty, nice, obsessed with him—hopefully a little freaky in bed too."

[peaklordshen]

"I'm not obsessed with him," Shen Yuan mutters. But--hang on. If he's gay, and Airplane's gay,¹ maybe he can, like--help him out with something? "And I think I'm, um. Kind of a cold fish in bed. Actually."

¹Who's flying the--wait.

[greatmasterairplane]

Oh? Is Cucumber-bro finally going to acknowledge him as a wise elder with valuable knowledge? The real Luo Binghe expert, in fact? "He's not, like, super picky."

[peaklordshen]

"He is," counters Shen Yuan. "With—with men, he is. He hasn't even slept with Sagramore, they're just friends."<sup>1

1</sup> Well...

[greatmasterairplane]

"They're friends?" That's much harder to believe than Luo Binghe being gay. But if Cucumber-bro is about to tell him about his sex life—with Shang Qinghua's own Mary Sue!—he wants to hear about that way more. "So you don't think Bingge's getting his needs met?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan's first instinct is to snap, none of your business, but he was the one who brought it up. "I don't see how he could be," he admits, instead. "Like, it's just—me."