[open post] NEW USER: Shang Qinghua

[greatmasterairplane]

Look, this clearly isn't Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shang Qinghua might not remember all the details of what he wrote—that's what his most devoted fans are for, to point out inconsistencies in the comments section so Shang Qinghua can bullshit some mystical explanation, hahaha—but he's sure he didn't write this Western-style mansion. The System, when he tries to question it, is silent. So maybe it's some kind of test?

If so, not fair! Arranging the invasion of the Immortal Alliance Conference was supposed to be his last thing. The original Shang Qinghua died shortly after that, so how much plot relevance could he have?? He was meant to be retired, living life in the lap of luxury (or drudgery in the employ of his king, but whatever). Why doesn't the System just reward him for all his many years of loyal service? Can they have a "being hand-fed melon seeds by a group of big scantily-clad men" event, please???

He skims through the welcome table materials. Okay, so a world between dimensions, people pulled in from disparate worlds and trapped for eternity, sure. Classic stuff. His king is bound to show up at some point and drag Shang Qinghua away by his collar like a tiger scruffing a kitten. Until then, he'll just try to stay out of trouble.

Comments

[wickedwit]

The small sake cups are, Claudius suspects, more like Lan Wangji's tea cups than Crowley's shot glasses, meant for savoring in small sips. Nevertheless, he knocks back the full cup, because he knows he's about to talk for a while. As it turns out, he has so much more Luo Binghe meta. "Why should he? In the course of his own book, he was able to achieve his ends through conquest and seduction, and even arose from scarce means to the position of emperor. Men with power seldom question their right to have it, but men who achieve power never question the methods they use to gain it. The further they’ve had to crawl, the more they can justify it. I say this as an aspiring usurper -- if I had everything I wished to from poisoning my brother, I’d have no cause to change course or risk turning backward. And you think he’d be likewise humbled to have lost his throne, but he cannot conceive of himself as having lost it. The difficulty is that -- even if his empire is irrelevant here -- he still possesses power. If he were the subject of an epic poem or saga, I’d say the parasitic blood was a metaphor for corruption and the reach of empire. You know about the parasitic blood, I assume? A vital humor, essential to him, that gives him power to influence others? He can use his influence to others' benefit or detriment, but so long as the ability to use it for pain exists, the temptation exists, too. The anti-monarchist allegory writes itself."

Claudius hasn't drunk enough to admit he thinks the blood parasites are cool and he examined them under a microscope. Sighing, he says, "I apologize. I've read a lot of anti-monarchist literature recently. Nevertheless, I'd like to see him spend one day as an ordinary man and forced to resolve a conflict¹. The only weaknesses he shows are emotional weaknesses, which are myriad, but prodding those only makes him more likely to lash out with power."

¹ Foreshadowing?

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua follows Claudius' lead in chugging the sake and pours himself another cup. It's definitely hitting harder on top of the three glasses of baijiu he's already had, putting him in a warm, pleased mood while he listens to this.

"Astonishing insight," he says first, because Claudius deserves some praise for this speech. Truly worthy of Shakespeare! The booze is loosening his tongue—he can feel a monologue coming on himself, just like when he and Cucumber-bro get drunk and fight over PIDW. And it's been decades since he's spoken to someone about his writing process who won't get mad at him for not considering Binghe's feelings.

"Luo Binghe should be flattered to be the subject of such keen analysis. But you're coming from your own context—you see it as commentary on how power corrupts, because maybe that's your experience with power. I see the story more as a cautionary tale about the limits of power. Luo Binghe spent his childhood dreaming of a better life, and then found out he had the power to take it, and anything else he wanted. That led to wealth, companionship, political sway, and the destruction of his enemies, but it can't and won't make him happy. So the parasitic blood is part of the illusion of total power—he can control others' bodies, but not their hearts and minds. There is nothing he cannot do, but none of it matters. Everything given to Luo Binghe only serves to throw what he doesn't have into sharper relief. Oh, also, it's porn," he adds, gesturing with his sake. "I forgot that you wouldn't know the genre. The book is erotica."

[wickedwit]

"Oh, that makes sense," Claudius says out loud. "Everything you've said make senses, of course. Luo Binghe's a deeply dissatisfied individual, with his myriad emotional weaknesses -- he'd rather bear physical pain than unkind words. But our entire first encounter makes sense now, too. I assume you're not easily scandalized, if you just came out of an erotic fiction?" he asks, to be considerate. It's strange how quickly he's progressed from casual flirting to metaphysical speculation to a surprisingly two-sided and cathartic conversation about what Luo Binghe's problem is, but that tends to happen with these story-travelers. All Claudius's conversations with Shen Qingqiu -- Shen Yuan have some element of strangeness to them.

[greatmasterairplane]

As far as Shang Qinghua is concerned, this is still flirting. "Definitely not. I would love to hear about your first encounter."

[wickedwit]

"First," Claudius says in storytelling tones, "you have to understand that I have something of a scandalous reputation back in Denmark. But that doesn't mean much, because scandalous depends on the culture that you're in. The Danes are known for being a chilly, reserved people, right up to the point one warms to you -- then we're unmistakable, even excessive in our affections. Courtiers are a different breed. We can be excessive, affectionate, and flirtatious without commitment, and the flirtations between men even moreso. Because then they become tests of commitment¹. Each man sees how far the they go in flirting before the other flinches. Luo Binghe flirts ... like an Italian. Like someone born from hotter climes. In fact, he flirts like men in certain Italian works that aren't commonly translated, but that everyone wants to read. Do you understand me? When we first met, I asked Luo Binghe to be nice, and he only knew how to be nice by flattering me like one of those curious maidens in a story of sensual discovery. Except, of course, that I'm the one who has actually gone farther in flirtations with other men, and at the time I was very sure he hadn't. That must not have been the nature of his novel." And novels are, by their nature, new, which is the main sense Claudius uses the word in. Webnovels are as new as it gets.

¹ 'Gay chicken,' if you've ever heard of the sport. Claudius hasn't, but that's what he describing.

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua sips his sake while listening to this. He's beginning to think maybe the baijiu is hitting him harder than he thought, and he should have waited another fifteen minutes before committing to more drinks. But oh well, you only get one first day in a crossover fanfiction mansion between worlds! Despite the way the room is beginning to swim, he's very interested in what Claudius is saying, so he's trying hard to focus. Luo Binghe flirts like an Italian. These are the kinds of insights only a Shakespeare character could give him. Cucumber-bro's internet comments could never.

"Well, I'm torn," he says when Claudius pauses. "I'd like to say something like, tell me more about how affectionate and flirtatious Danes can be, and don't hesitate to include a practical demonstration. But I could listen to you talk about Luo Binghe all day." He sighs. "I had no idea he liked men. It's pretty sad if you think about it." Luo Binghe fumbling anxiously over a flirtation with a handsome prince—it's just not right. That's Shang Qinghua's irrepressible stallion!

[wickedwit]

"Isn't it?" It continues to feel cathartic, drinking and chatting about the frustrating yet complicated aspects of his association with Luo Binghe, with someone other than Luo Binghe under a truth spell. Why couldn't Claudius met a man like Shang Qinghua sooner? A man with the same level of insight Shen Yuan has from traveling into a world of fiction, but who crucially isn't Shen Yuan.

"You see, there's the other difficulty in co-existing with someone like Luo Binghe. If I think about him too long, I feel sad for him. During our little tryst, I entertained the thought he was lonely underneath all that continental extravagance, reaching for a form of connection he hadn't before. I had a very modest estimate of how many times he'd use the same romantic lines on women before. My estimate was not that he'd married hundreds of wives," Claudius says, rolling his eyes, "but now I know he's from an erotic work of fiction, so why not? It likely makes for more thrilling read. And in that work, he likely never considered how he'd feel if a man used the same romantic lines on him, with the same performative praises and touches. I can sympathize, even feel sorry for him. Except that he also secretly slipped me blood parasites to torture me with later." It's a difficult thing to get over when evaluating a person. Claudius sighs, then smiling wryly, adds, "That said ... if you'd like the personal demonstration of performative praises and touches, I can provide. "

[greatmasterairplane]

"Well," Shang Qinghua says. He traces the rim of his sake cup with his finger, trying to pull words together from the soup that his brain is right now. "I would. I find you handsome and charming, and in the demon realm you usually only get one or the other. But, well—I meant to find a more satisfying or dramatic moment to say it, but now that we've talked about Luo Binghe so much, I feel like I have to say it or it's like I'm catfishing you—you wouldn't know about that—I'll have to explain catfishing later." Shakespeare would have loved catfishing. "Anyway, it's my book. I wrote it and then was forced to live it, like some kind of—ironic punishment—from Dante, or Greek mythology. So it's really my fault about the blood parasites."

[wickedwit]

Three little cups of sake in and Claudius is ready to admit, "I looked at the blood parasites under a microscope in order to study their mechanisms. They were fascinating. So let me see if I have this right -- that's all your invention? You created that entire world and Luo Binghe's whole suite of personal tragedies and erotic conquests?" It's perhaps the most unusual and unexpected turn a flirtation with a stranger could take. Previously, that honor belonged to to the aforementioned moment when Claudius realized Luo Binghe had given him blood parasites. This is more like realizing the man you're flirting with is a minor god who created the possibility of blood parasites. "Well," he says with a smile, "I certainly do admire a man with a creative mind. It speaks well to your imagination."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua grins, delightfully surprised. "Wow, thanks. Shen Yuan usually just yells at me for not making nicer things happen to Binghe."

[wickedwit]

Claudius laughs because of course Shen Yuan does, but he sets that aside, leans over the bar, and draws hand Shang Qinghua's into his own with a sliding, teasing touch. "Let me praise thee," he says, and he kisses that hand. "The most extravagant praises, of course, are always for looks. I know not how thou didst look before thou hadst this form -- but I can say thou wear'st it well, as thou wear'st thy dahlia, and both are lovelier for adorning thee. And what thou art, within that charming form, is an artist's mind. The mind of an artist is always more beautiful than the thing it creates, more full of possibility. Thou canst write stories of erotic longing, and thou canst speak in stirring ideas about the illusions of power, about dreams unfulfilled. Why would I ask thee to tell me nicer stories, for the sake of thy character? Speak to me more of longing and desire, but let it be thy desires."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua is not the blushing type, but he is speechless by the end of this. He wants to tell Claudius he doesn't have to lay it on quite so thick—surely it's clear Shang Qinghua is a done deal—but also, why shouldn't he? Why shouldn't Shang Qinghua get showered in compliments for once?? He deserves it, right? He's had the short end of the stick at every turn, and unlike Cucumber-bro he hasn't even gotten a sexy demon boyfriend out of it! Sure, Claudius seems to think Proud Immortal Demon Way is a work of literary significance, rather than a cheap and lazy cash grab—but it could have been, if Shang Qinghua had the time and money to sit around perfecting his artistic vision. If, in fact, he was allowed to take his time being flattered and seduced by hot men from the world of real literature. If he'd had that life, maybe PIDW would be the work Claudius is describing. And that means Shang Qinghua absolutely deserves the credit he's getting.

He leans closer, letting Claudius keep hold of his hand. "This artist's mind can think of many possibilities." His lips part.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan skids around the corner. "There you are," he snaps. "Where the hell did you go, we still have so much to...talk..." he trails off, taking in the cozy way Airplane is snuggled up, holding hands, with—of all fucking people—!!!

[wickedwit]

“Shen Yuan,” Claudius says, smoothly and cheerfully. “It’s a pleasure to see you, of course — but why didn’t you introduce me to your charming friend?”

[greatmasterairplane]

"Cucumber-bro," Shang Qinghua says with a dismissive little wave of his hand, "I'm busy right now, let's talk later."

[peaklordshen]

"You're busy," Shen Yuan repeats in disbelief. "You're—" how dare he. Busy?? As if he knows anything about this place, or the people here, or how to not make a fucking ass out of himself in front of everyone. Just because he happens to have a reasonably handsome face and absolutely no moral backbone he thinks he can slink around Shen Yuan's carefully balanced and complex acquaintanceship with Claudius and into his bed and potentially tell him—who the fuck knows what, just when they were maybe on okay terms again?? Busy. Yeah, we'll fucking see. Two can play at that game.

He crosses his arms, turning to Claudius. "Has my charming friend told you he's the reason Binghe tortured you?" he demands. "That he's the one who so thoroughly beat the ability to assume good faith out of a bright and shining youth, that it's his Machiavellian fucking cash grab porn that Luo Binghe had just so narrowly escaped when you had your fateful tryst?"

[wickedwit]

"Oh, Shen Yuan, you will blame everyone but Luo Binghe, won’t you? I know, I know, you're his number one defender.” Claudius casts a sly glance and smile in Shang Qinghua's direction. “Know’st thou this: Shen Yuan denied he loved Luo Binghe, when I first espied it in him. Now they make a blissful couple, but we've a conundrum. If thou art the author of all Luo Binghe’s actions … if ‘twas thee, not he, that must be blamed for his torture of me … art thou not the author of every happiness he gives Shen Yuan? For if Luo Binghe's willful cruelties are thine, so too must be that loving heart that Shen Yuan so esteems. Should he not thank thee better for it? Or does he only blame thee for Luo Binghe's faults, so that he can stay blind to them?”

[greatmasterairplane]

Claudius is sooooo smart and handsome. Shang Qinghua rubs his collar between thumb and forefinger, too drunk to care that he is courting murder-by-cucumber. "He never thanks me."

[peaklordshen]

"You are so full of shit," snaps Shen Yuan, directing his vitriol toward Airplane because a) habit, b) he's being SO smarmy right now, and c) Claudius kind of has a point. "I paid for every extra chapter you posted! I told you all the time that Binghe was the best protagonist out of every novel on zhongdian! Just because I never, fucking, sucked your dick about it--"

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua does not roll his eyes, because he's not trying to provoke Shen Yuan; Shen Yuan is just very easily provoked. "Well, if you're not going to, then kindly don't stand in the way of someone who might."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan does roll his eyes. ¹ "Oh, right, because you're totally hard up, it's been like, five whole minutes since you slept with Sagramore. Come on, dude, can't you think about literally anything else?? We have shit to discuss!"

¹ Because he is in fact very easy to provoke.

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua sighs, but not audibly, just a little huff of breath. He extracts his hand from Claudius' so he can pat the back of it. If he's trapped here forever, like everyone has been telling him, they'll have time to return to this, and it's best not to hold out for Cucumber-bro to let go of something. He did read all twenty million words of a book he supposedly hated. "It's been an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance, Prince. I'm sure we'll have much more to say to each other at a later time." He returns the knowing smile Claudius gave him earlier, as if to say, You understand how he is.

[wickedwit]

Claudius was, to be fair, going to leave some things to subtext. He wasn't going to say outright that Shen Yuan wanted to suck anyone's cock, or that Shen Yuan owes Shang Qinghua for any of Luo Binghe's skills in bed, since Shang Qinghua wrote every word of the erotic novel Shen Yuan so enjoys. He laughs. "That was very a gentlemanly farewell," he says, smilingly. Then he leans up and gives Shang Qinghua a heated kiss on the lips, letting it linger for a while. "I'm sorry I made the first admirer of your work jealous," he teases. "He must want to take up all of your time."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan feels like the top of his head might come clean off. Jealous--jealous?? Absolutely ridiculous. Sure, Airplane's cute, but Shen Yuan is dating Luo Binghe. As if anyone could compete!!! Please. Like--sure, now that he knows Airplane's gay, and he's gay, and--if they were both single, and there weren't--that's not the fucking point. Even if he actively wanted to sleep with Airplane, which he does not, he wouldn't be jealous of him and Claudius. Airplane can do whatever the fuck he wants with his time and his--his body. Just--later, once Shen Yuan has had a chance to actually talk to him more, and feel out the Aornis situation, and hear how everyone is back home, and--and decide how he feels about Airplane being here, knowing him the way Sagramore and Galahad and Magnus know him, rather than the way only Airplane used to know him, has kind of always known him.

He crosses his arms and averts his gaze from their kiss, sullen. "Come on, then."

[greatmasterairplane]

Shang Qinghua is a little breathless—Claudius is an excellent kisser—but he manages to say, "That was a gentlemanly farewell." He slips away from the bar apologetically and drags Shen Yuan into the hallway, out of earshot.

"Dude, what is so important that you had to cockblock me? I was having a nice time! He had really interesting things to say about Proud Immortal Demon Way!"